How To Deal With Overwhelming Guilt In Business Life

Do you ever experience (overwhelming) guilt? Do you eat and feel guilt? Work and feel guilt? Play, rest or spend time with your family and feel guilt? Everywhere you are not, do you feel guilt for not being there? Everything you do, even for yourself, do you feel the guilt of not doing something else? I believe there are 8 ways to overcome, and even master, those feelings of guilt. That is not to ignore it, because guilt has an important purpose. It is to realise what purpose the guilt serves, see it for what it is, and then let go of where it is holding you back and not serving you.

I wrote a short excerpt (not worthy of being called a poem) below on guilt, that created reach and discussion on social media, as well as an overwhelming response on my “Disruptive Entrepreneur” podcast. Here it it, with the 9 ways to overcome guilt below. Can you relate to this?

Everyday; the guilt

Everyday guilt consumes me

When I’m working, guilt I’m not with my family

When I’m with my family, guilt I’m not working

So many ideas and guilt that I’m not implementing them all

When I make money, the guilt that others don’t have any

When I start tasks, guilt that I don’t finish them

When I hurt people, the guilt of how I made them feel

When I fail, the guilt of the people I have let down

I don’t know if the guilt ever goes away.

Sometimes it eats me up inside.

In a sadistic way I think it drives us to spend our time wisely, do the best we can, and try to be kind to others.

I think it is part of being human.

Do you feel it too?

Here are 8 things that should help you deal with and master guilt:

1. Don’t deny it

Guilt is a human emotion. and every human emotion serves a purpose. Don’t try to ignore it or suppress it. What you suppress you will be forced to express. Simply notice yourself feeling it. Try to disassociate yourself from it as part of who you are, and see it as a feedback emotion to check in that you are dong the right things.

2. What is its function/purpose?

The purpose of guilt is to ensure we are focusing on the right things. If we didn’t experience it, we should do all manner of evil and feel numb. It keeps us in check and in balance between the selfish and the selfless. In more modern times, guilt may arise if you are focusing on the wrong tasks or if you perceived you have wronged yourself or someone else. Again, notice it, but evaluate it’s purpose, in the knowledge that it is serving you somehow. Wisdom is discovering that balanced service to you.

3. Too selfish; too selfless – guilt is the feedback

Neither extreme serves yourself or humanity. Too selfish and people rebel against you. Too selfless and you become weak and irrelevant. Guilt is the feedback mechanism that forces you to remain in balance to serve and survive as an individual and as a species. Selfless are like Lemmings who walk off a cliff, selfish are those who get outed, incarcerated or in extreme cases assassinated. You’ll experience self guilt or resentment when giving without receiving, and guilt in the form of regret when receiving without giving. And as such it

serves you well in both cases.

4. Plan & compartmentalise all your KLAs & KRAs

KLAs are Key Life Areas and KRAs are Key Results Areas. KLAs are the things most important to you in your life such as health, family. KRAs are the tasks most important in your career, business, or secondary, non survival areas; maybe a passion or your profession. If you focus on KLAs and KRAs, you will minimise guilt and maximise fulfilment. As soon as you get distracted away from them, guilt will occur as feedback. You feel far less guilt that you should be doing something else when you have compartmentalised your time, because

everything has it’s time and place and priority. So plan in your day and diary your KLAs and KRAs first, early, and above all other tasks. I wrote “Routine = Results” to show you in a step by step way how to plan and manage your time, diary and life.

5. When it turns into beating yourself up…

…it’s time to take stock and a step back. Guilt serves you until it consumes you. If you feel it consuming you, and you start beating yourself up for feeling it, thus compounding the pain further, then STOP. Be kind to yourself. The world will do a good job of beating you up, so start crediting yourself for the good things you do. Pick something of high priority that you know you will feel great about doing, and get it done. Pat yourself on the back for doing it, then move onto the next. Prioritise and execute.

6. Love & accept yourself for who you are

You are perfect as you are; successes and mistakes. The harder you are on yourself, the more guilt you’ll feel when not living up to that persona. This can be a never ending curse of wanting to be better, more or different. Look at how far you’ve come, not just how far you want to go. Allow yourself time to rest, time to play, time to be bored and time to heal if required. Be clear on your strengths and weaknesses, and focus your time and energy in areas you can provide value and have skills in, which in turn increases your self worth.

7. Let go of what you can’t control

You can’t control everything, or everyone. You are not responsible for everything. You can’t be in all places at once. You can’t be great at everything. You can’t live up to people’s expectations they hold of you. All you can control is who you are, what you do, and how you treat yourself and others. Focus on being as good at that as you can, and let go of the rest. Expecting outcomes that you have no power to control will cause you much unnecessary pain. Liberate yourself by accepting what is.

8. Don’t try to be all things to all people

A sure way to be great at nothing is to try to be great at everything. Demands of parenting, career, management and leadership, friends, social media and being a role model can take their toll. It’s fine to not master them all. It’s even fine to be crap at the ones not important to you. It’s fine to have a handful of true friends. It’s fine to let go of being who someone else wants you to be. It’s easier than ever to outsource your weaknesses. It’s good to say no.

Guilt is an emotion where you live in the past. It is a delusion that past events or the way you were should have been different. Yet you can feel them in the present moment, feeling that you should be doing something else, robbing you of the gift of life to be experienced in the now. If you are going to do something. commit to it, work, rest or play. Then the guilt goes away.

Source: https://robmoore.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-overwhelming-guilt-in-business-life/

ENTREPRENEURIAL COUPLES

Every year, millions of couples take on the challenge of starting a business together. For some, it is the best decision they ever made. Not only do they get to spend more time together, they get to pursue their passion side-by-side with their best friend. But for others, it becomes a constant source of contention, where the stress and struggle eventually become so inflated that the business and sadly, the relationship, implode.

So what is the difference between the couples that make it and the couples that break up? Why do some succeed while others do not?

The stresses with starting a business are inevitable — the financial risk, the long periods of uncertainty, the seemingly endless list of tasks to accomplish. It’s all par for the course when you’re building a business from the ground up. That’s why you must have structure and strategy, not only with your business, but with your partner. By implementing your own working system, which includes rules, rituals and shared working habits, you and your partner can create a healthy work relationship, and ultimately, a happy personal relationship.

To help you better understand how to navigate this process, here are 5 tips to strengthen your business and your romance:

BUILD A STRESS MANAGEMENT PLAN

Your ability to manage the stress that comes with starting your own business is even more important when your life partner is your business partner.

When someone experiences a stressful situation, the body sounds an alarm and quickly transfers control from the rational brain over to the emotional brain, which is also known as the amygdala. The amygdala can be a bit dramatic, making bad things worse, and worse things catastrophic. So when the day-to-day setbacks or typical pressures of starting a business occur, the amygdala thinks the sky is falling. All rational thoughts go out the window, and the emotional nonsense that has gripped our brains can lead us to say or do some hurtful things.

This is why you and your spouse need to develop a stress management plan that includes approaches that elicit a relaxation response (deep abdominal breathing, visualization, yoga), ways of reframing and discussing irrational thoughts (a detailed communication plan), or a designated timeout period so that if a situation becomes too intense, you both take a 15-minute walk on your own then come back to resume communication.

LET THE BEDROOM BE A BEDROOM

The bedroom should be seen as a resting place, where you only do two things that start with the letter “s”. And no, I’m not talking about “strategize” or “send emails.” When we do anything other than that in the bedroom — work on our laptops while in bed, send emails from our smartphones, bring work talk into pillow talk — we condition our brains to think that the bedroom is meant for those things. According to a Harvard sleep study, we begin to disassociate the bedroom with the idea of peace and passion.

Discussing work issues or doing work in the bedroom can also have physiological effects that impact the health of our relationship.These types of activities are both stress-stimulating that cause the body to release cortisol, which is associated with increased alertness. This means it will be difficult to fall asleep, and even more difficult to fall into a deep sleep. Lack of sleep means you won’t be your best the next day.

When you work together, it’s easy to make the bedroom a surrogate office. Just remember, as harmless as this may seem, it actually can wreak havoc on the intimacy of your relationship. So do personal and your business relationship a favor, whatever you need to do for or discuss about work, just let it rest until the morning.

KEEP IT PROFESSIONAL

When you work alongside your spouse, it’s easy to fall into the trap of treating your “colleague” with less than professional standards. But just because you are comfortable with your partner doesn’t mean civility should take a back seat.

Keep in mind that you are starting a business, so use your business etiquette. This includes:

• saying “please” and “thank you”

• not pointing at your partner with your index finger

• not interrupting or over-talking each other

• being mindful of your language

• not taking personal calls during work sessions

• giving your undivided attention when your partner is speaking

Keeping your relationship professional does not need to mean being cold and distant. It simply means being mindful. By treating your spouse with respect, you will create a happier, healthier work environment, and ultimately, a happier and healthier home.

GO OFF-SITE

For most couples starting a business together, it means transforming your home into your office. Your kitchen becomes your break room, your dining room table becomes your conference room, and everywhere in between becomes brainstorm central. After a while, it may start to feel like you’re living at the office, because, well…you sort of are.

To avoid the groundhog’s day scenario that working at home can create, select a day every week that you and your partner relocate to somewhere outside your home to work. Not only will you help break the monotony, it may just help you be more productive.

By changing your environment, even just for one day, you can help stimulate creativity and inspiration. You are exposing yourself to new surroundings, new people, and new energy. This means that you will find a new perspective, make new connections, and receive new inputs — all of which can help foster the birth of new ideas.

Going off-site also creates a new tradition for you and your partner that you can look forward to each week. It becomes “your thing” together, where, for instance, you take turns choosing the off-site location. And this sense of camaraderie and teamwork will ultimately enhance and empower your bond, making you better life partners as well as business partners.

PAY EACH OTHER COMPLIMENTS

Every day, make it a point to recognize each other’s strengths. If your partner puts a significant amount of effort into a task or does something well, do not let it go unnoticed. Even if the day has been stressful and unproductive, instead of dwelling on the negatives, redirect the focus to what did go well. There may be days where this means telling your partner something as simple as: “I’m so impressed by how resilient your are.” Just be sure to be sincere. Paying a compliment that seems contrived can actually work against you.

This advice should also be applied to your relationship in social settings. Compliments shouldn’t start and stop when you are alone with your partner. In fact, it is just as important to tout each other’s strengths when you are in public. This lets your partner know that you not only recognize their attributes, but are proud of them, which gives them a sense of pride in themselves and the relationship.

Compliments show appreciation, which allow your partner to feel valued. And when you feel valued, you feel more committed to your work, and ultimately, your relationship.

There is no way around it — starting a business with your spouse can be difficult. But it can also provide great rewards, and not just financially speaking.

Going into business with your spouse can give you and your partner opportunities you may not get otherwise. You have the chance to come together over a shared belief, work under the same mission, and strive towards the same goal. It’s not just time you will be sharing, it’s passion. And through this passion, you become closer and more connected. Essentially, you are enhancing your commitment to each other by your commitment to your business.

So take the time to develop structure and strategies, not just with your business, but with your business partner, and learn how to make working with your spouse work to your advantage. It may just be the best thing to ever happen to your professional and personal life.

Source: https://www.tonyrobbins.com/career-business/entrepreneurial-couples/

4 Time Management Tips For Work-Life Balance

Work/Life balance is a hot topic in this day and age where everyone seems to be working longer and harder than every before. How do we get the balance right?

For most this can be tough, so here's a short video with some great advice on how to do just that!