THE POWER OF DEEP LISTENING

Have you ever spoken to someone who made you feel like you were the only person in the world at that moment? Who seemed truly engaged and interested in every word that came out of your mouth? How did that make you feel? Important? Understood? 

This is the power of deep listening. Deep listening is more than a valuable social habit; it is a transformative communication tool. With deep listening, you are not only allowing yourself the time and space to fully absorb what your conversation partner is saying, you can actually encourage him or her to to feel heard and to speak more openly and honestly. And this is a key step in developing rapport with someone. 

To better understand how to interact and communicate more effectively with others, we spoke to body language expert Jan Hargrave, one of our Leadership Academy speakers, about the core tenets of deep listening:

EYE CONTACT

“By maintaining good eye contact, you are demonstrating to your conversation partner that you are fully engaged and interested in what he or she is saying. A good guideline to follow is the 80/20 rule, in which 80% of the time your eyes are meeting your speaking partner’s, and 20% of the time, your eyes are roaming as you gather information to say.”

PRESENCE

“The average person speaks between 135 and 160 words per minute, but the average person’s brain works between 400 and 600 words per minute. This means your mind is going a lot faster than your conversation partner’s mouth, which makes it easy for your mind to drift. It’s up to you to stop your mind from shifting away from the conversation and to be truly present. Not only will you be able to fully absorb what your partner says, you will be able to respond in kind, which makes them feel appreciated and understood.”

NONVERBAL FEEDBACK

“There’s nothing worse than speaking to someone who gives no verbal feedback. It’s like talking to a wall. Make the effort to give the occasional nod, smile, or other sign of recognition to your conversation partner. These nonverbal cues may seem trivial, but have tremendous impact by showing your interest, understanding and involvement in the conversation.”

CONNECTION

“When you are speaking one-on-one with someone, position your body in a way that creates a safe and welcoming space for him or her to speak openly. Lean slightly in, open up your chest, pull your shoulders back, and fold your hands gently in your lap or on the table in front of you. If you are standing, form a reversed hand steeple, in which the fingers come together to form a point. When someone steeples in the lap area, it means they are confident about what they are hearing.”

Source: https://www.tonyrobbins.com/mind-meaning/the-power-of-deep-listening/

Social Skills That Will Help You Become Accepted And Admired

It is everyone's true desire to be accepted and admired. Being accepted and Admired is entirely up to you. All it takes is the ability to pick up a few significant social skills that help build emotional awareness. There are some noteworthy social skills that can be learned quite quickly.

Below is a list of several ways you can become more accepted and admired and become the most likable person in the room.

1. When first meeting someone for the first time you will want to make eye contact. This may sound like a simple thing to do but so many fail miserably at doing it. This remains one of the most impactful mistakes a person can make when conversing with someone. When you are able to look a person in the eyes it shows that you are full of confidence and poised. You will want to implement this skill immediately. Just know that it requires no training or special talent. It just takes the commitment to look a person in the eyes while conversing with them.

2. After looking the person in the eyes you want to give them a firm handshake. You don't want to crush their hand, but you want them to know that you are a person of substance. You don't want to want to wimp out by shaking hands with a limp and feeble handshake. Research shows that people decide whether or not they like you within several seconds of meeting you. A firm handshake contributes largely to that first impression, as does a strong carriage and confident body language.

3. Hey, don't forget to give the other person that bright warm smile along with the first two skills I just covered. It is OK to laugh and tell jokes for the most part. Most people unconsciously mirror the people they are communicating with. If you want to be accepted and admired, try using positive body language. What you put out is usually what you get back in return.

4. Rule of thumb; cut your cell phone off and put it away. There is nothing ruder than a person constantly looking down at their cell phone while you are trying to converse with them. It would be to your best interest to keep your phone put away until after your meeting is over. For those that don't know, that's just plain common courtesy. Once again, this requires no training or special talent to do.

5. If you want to gain positive points with the person that you are conversing with, you will want to call them by name. Everyone wants to go where everyone knows their name. If nothing else, you may want to write this one down and don't forget it. So, the next time when someone uses your name or uses your name during a conversation, think back and remember just how good it felt when they did it. Now, if you have trouble remembering peoples names you might want to use a trick I use when first meeting people. I try to write their name down on something and I try to use their name as many times as I can when I first meet them. This helps me remember their name right away.

6. Finally, you want to actively listen to the person you are conversing with. Simply hearing words doesn't make the grade. People that want to be accepted and admired should learn the forgotten art of listening. Most people are thinking about what they are going to say before the other person has finished speaking. This is why people cut off a person while they are talking. By you doing such a thing shows that you are very disrespectful and unconcerned with what the other person is saying.

Active listening consists of several steps: The first step would be hearing the person you are conversing with. The second step to listening would be to interpret what the other person is saying without interrupting them. The third step would be evaluating what was said by the other person. The last step would be waiting for the right time to respond to what the other person has said.

Now you are armed with the vital information that the pros are armed with. These skills are learnable and coachable. It does not take a brain scientist to follow any of these steps mentioned in this article but the willingness to execute them.

If you would like to find out more about who you are and what is holding you back in life, I have put it all in simple terms for anyone to follow. You can pick up my book "The manufacturing Of A Dream" at http://www.drmarkhuddleston.com This book has changed the lives of many people, why not yours! Pick up a copy today.

Article Source: https://EzineArticles.com/expert/Mark_Huddleston/2499373

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